Neard Swansong

It was bound to happen.  I have become bored with neards.  My attention has now shifted to sharks and sometimes dinosaurs...But before I end this blog forever I give you this, Matthew Hess ROCKING the neck beard.  Even more pleasing than the neard itself, to me, are the accessories. The open chest, the fur....simply divine.  Merry Christmas indeed!

Scenic Neard

I don't know what's more breathtaking, the neard or that painting. 

Uncaptionable

Neards don't see gender

for all you ladies out there....spice up the classic neard with a side-pony for a more feminine look.

Glamour shot accesorize with a neard

During the day I usually just stand in front of this marble wall in my vest and blouse.  But at night I Riverdance naked in front of my open window before crowds of salivating women.

Bieber has neard fever

Justin Bieber and I have decided to wait 5 years before we get married.  Not for legality, but because by then he'll be able to grow a lustrous, flat-ironable neard.

gnome gneard

Somebody's gotta protect the yard.

Neards win football games

So yesterday Forrest and his Oregon friends made the best decision of their lives and decided to grow neards to support the Oregon Ducks.  Nothing shows duck spirit like a neard.  In fact, the first Oregon duck ever had a neard, as proven by this photo that I found in an historical book.

I took the liberty of photo-shopping neards onto these normally hideous men.  As you can see they all look fucking awesome except for Kyle who's picture I couldn't find.

There is no way the ducks will lose when they see this confident display of facial hair.  Also there is no way these guys won't return home with wheelbarrows full of tits and panties from adoring lady-fans.

Winter is here

grow a red scarf to match your hat.

I write operas bitch

But I don't shit where I sleep, so sorry opera ladies...no fatties.

Turkeys have neards

And yes, maybe their neards are made of creepy skin instead of hair...but you can't argue with the fact that they are delicious.

What could be more rad than this?

The only thing that could make this bad-ass picture bad-assier

Is adding a sweet-ass NECK PONYTAIL.

Ladies Love Cool Neards

A rag soaked in ether used to be the only way I could lure a wench into my night chambers, but not anymore...This shit's a straight-up pantaloon-dropper.

Head hair is cliche, grow it on your neck instead!

Does the Neard match the carpet?

At least 1 in 3 ladies already know the answer....

Neards are sweeping the nation

The beginnings of the glorious forest of hair that will soon be under Forrest's chin. 

Sophisticated gents rock the neard.